Managing Your Joy Blockers
I have a friend who wherever she goes, she shines a light on people and makes them feel loved. I once asked her what her secret was – how was she able to do this so easily? Her answer was simple, “years of work.”
One of the things I’ve learned in my almost 49 years is that anything that looks effortless takes years of work.
Throughout the past COVID-filled year, I’ve been trying to do some of my own work, to heal some of the things that I realized had once again become a steady diet of mental junk food – an extra helping of anxiety, a dash of leftover people pleasing, a smidge of not so friendly voice in my head, which all led to a big, heaping serving of feeling out of alignment with my true self.
These kinds of misalignments are easy to ignore. You can exist and do so pretty easily without ever shining a light on these covert roadblocks to more JOY, better relationships, and living a peaceful life.
When I slowed down enough in 2020, I got curious – how could I better manage some of the things that were blocking my joy? It definitely would have been more comfortable to NOT explore some of my less than admirable traits – to keep them dimly lit, to ignore their effect on me and those I love. But by being honest with myself I was able to clean up my mental diet and make some real progress.
The payoff? I’ve had a couple of “I used to do that, but wow, now I don’t” moments.
For example:
Before: Someone is ten minutes late = my brain says SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED = overwhelming anxious feeling that causes me stress and spills onto everyone around me
After: Someone is ten minutes late = my brain says SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED = new behavior pushing back and internally saying MY ANXIETY IS NOT CREDIBLE = nervous system calming down = I and those I love go about our day
I’m continually amazed by our human ability to keep growing and changing into the best of who we are if we can just be real with ourselves. I rely on God’s help for sure, too; prayer is a wonderful anxiety repellant and an excellent tool for growth.
I guess I’m sharing this to remind you that the work you do on yourself is always worth it. During May which is Mental Health Awareness month I think it’s important for us to share our struggles and as well as our wins. I’m wondering if you have some places that might need some healing too – maybe it’s time to let the light in.
