Kicking That Toxic Roommate Out of Your Head
Two questions for you ...
First, how good are you at knowing what brings you JOY?
Second, how good are you at doing the things that you know bring you JOY?
This week I had a chance to pull up a virtual chair and discuss these very questions with the amazing, Stephanie Polen, and a wonderful group of women who were willing to share their experiences.
A few things became clear:
joy is mostly found in the little things – the first cup of coffee, long walks, reading, gardening, visiting friends, being by water, etc.
joy sometimes takes a backseat to everything else – even if you know what brings you joy, you’ve got to intentionally let it drive sometimes
joy can be blocked by that not-so-nice voice in your head who’s like a bad, toxic roommate constantly critiquing your every move
Together we tackled this last truth with a concept called Real Time Resilience from the work of Dr. Karen Revich. You may remember it from a Super Short Show I did earlier this year. Simply put, it is a concept that helps you to transform those counterproductive thoughts that keep you from your joy in the moment.
Let’s try it.
Think of a counter-productive thought. (Here’s a common one for illustration purposes, I am out of control; I need to lose weight, and I can never stay disciplined) If you’re beating yourself up like this, joy will be elusive no matter what situation you find yourself in.
Now think about how you can turn those thoughts around with one of these three options and sentence starters:
Evidence – That’s not true because … I am in control; I’m constantly aware of the kinds of foods I eat, and I’m making healthier choices little by little.
Reframe – A better way to look at this is … I want to be healthy and vibrant, and I have the opportunity each day to create this reality.
Plan – If x happens, then y … If I slip up and overindulge one day, I can simply get back to healthier eating at the next meal.
Practicing these sentence starters in the moment when counter-productive thoughts are surfacing helps us to be more resilient and create more pathways to joy.
It also helps us to be a better friend to ourselves, and I think we could all do that more often.
So this week I hope you BYOF (be your own friend) and kick that toxic roomie out!
